Priorities
by immatureimp
Summary: The moral of this story is: It’s dangerous to stop what you’re doing to listen to a wolf.


Rating: M

Spoilers: None really

Warnings: Language. Unrepentant perversion of a well-known fairytale. Gratuitous use of a one-liner from the A-Team. Daring try at a new fandom.

Pairing: Little Red/Big Bad errr, I mean Vash/Wolfwood

Summary: Written for the 2004 Yaoi Challenge. Well, the prompt was: Welcome Home: someone returns from being away for a while and wish to have quick rough sex, his partner shows him the benefits of slowing down. If, and that's a big IF, you turn this story to the side and squint, you might see it. I wouldn't, because squinting gives me a headache. So I'll just pretend instead...

Heartfelt thanks to mistressrenet who gave me a time out of her busy NaNoWriMo writing to do a wonderful quick beta for me. Also I want to thank her for her constant support and inspiration. Any and all mistakes are mine.

_Little boys girls, this seems to say,  
Never stop upon your way,  
Never trust a stranger-friend;  
No one knows how it will end.  
As you are pretty so be wise;  
Wolves may lurk in every guise.  
Handsome they may be, and kind,  
Gay, and charming — nevermind!  
Now, as then, 'tis simple truth —  
Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth! _  
Perrault

**Priorities**

"Vash…" Slick tongue along his collarbone, then up behind his ear. Teeth nibble the lobe. Wolfwood shudders and moans.

"Vash?" Where the hell did his clothes go? And when did he end up on his knees? Shivers. Dear lord, that hand was fast. And slick.

"VASH!" Yelps at the bite to his ass. Wolfwood briefly wonders why he's stopping Vash.

"Yes, Wolfwood?" Vash is the very picture of wide-eyed innocence. Or he would be, if he wasn't naked and half an inch away from fucking Wolfwood… And if Wolfwood squints really hard.

"Just…uhmmm…whoa there, big fellow," Is that a giggle? Wolfwood pulls away. Flips over. Nope, that sounds like a whine.

"But Wooooolfwoooood…" Yep, definitely a whine. Glances up and almost laughs at the forlorn look on Vash's face -like someone stole his last donut. Wolfwood grabs a cigarette instead. Snarls when Vash snatches it from his mouth.

"Not until after!" Vash -with his hands on his hips, thick hard cock bouncing with the movement of the bed, and pouting lips- is a sight to behold. Or hold. It takes every bit of Wolfwood's self-control -and thoughts of Chapel naked- to keep from flipping back over.

But Wolfwood has an agenda. And, more importantly, it's not his turn to bottom.

"Geezus, calm down. I'm not saying no, I'm just saying wait." Wolfwood slides up in the bed until his back rests against the broken plaster wall. "I've got a story to tell you."

"Oh goody, storytime." Wolfwood raises one eyebrow at Vash. Is that sarcasm? Nyah, couldn't be. Hears Vash mumble, _"Been gone almost a month and you'd think a guy could get a little, but nooooo got to hear a story first…"_ Wolfwood pretends not to hear him.

"Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, on a desert planet, there was a studly crafted creature called Little Red…"

"LITTLE! If you'll just lie still, I'll show you little…."

"Quiet, you're interrupting my story. As I was saying, there was a handsome young man whose nickname was Little Red, thus named because he wore a long red coat everywhere he went. Little Red was a kind and gentle man who was on a quest to deliver donuts to all the little old grandmothers who lived down the lane."

"I think you're mixing fairytales, Wolfwood."

"Shush, who's telling this story, huh? Just listen. As Little Red strolled through the forest on his way to…."

"I thought it was a desert planet?" A pillow slams into Vash's head.

"SHUT UP! Anyway, there's this tall goofy hombre in long red coat strolling along a dusty highway with a half-eaten box of donuts tucked under his arm, trying to look cool in knock-off sunglasses and six pounds of gelled-up hair."

"Hey!" Wolfwood slaps his left hand over Vash's mouth, jerks it away when Vash bites, continues, "When, who does this wannabe meet, but a handsome stylish beast, the suave and debonair Wolf."

"You mean slick shyster in a wrinkled suit, don'cha?" Wolfwood ignores him. " 'Hello, my dear,' the Wolf grins wolfishly at Little Red, 'where are you going on such sunny day?' "

"Wolfwood, every day is a sunny day here."

"Vash, do I need to find something to shut you up with?"

"If you have to go find it, I'm going to be seriously disappointed later."

"AS I WAS SAYING!" Wolfwood slaps a hand to his forehead. "The handsome Wolf stops the irritating Little Red and asks him where the hell he's going. To which Little Red replies, 'I'm off to deliver these donuts to the little old grandmother who lives down…' Uhmmmm Vash?" Ragged breath in. "I can't concentrate…" Gulp. "…when you do that."

A low chuckle comes from the vicinity of Wolfwood's groin. "I know." A hand hauls Vash back up. By his hair.

"Lay still, be good!"

"But I was being good!" Wolfwood pulls the pillow over his face, wonders if he can just suffocate himself. Decides if anyone's going to die in this room tonight, it's going to be Vash.

Maybe later. Definitely after.

"Damn it, where was I?"

"Wolf, Little Red, donuts, grandmother." Vash counts off on his toes.

"Okay, so the Wolf makes a bet with Little Red that he can beat him to the little old grandmother's house and they both take off in two different directions. Little Red gets sidetracked by a damsel in distress, which of course, ends in a gunfight. So the Wolf arrives at grandma's long before V--, err I mean, Little Red does."

"Not, that a Wolf would have been much help in a gunfight." Wolfwood glares at Vash, who just grins back.

"Can I continue?" Vash nods. "The Wolf sneaks into Grandma's house and toss the old lady out the window, strips, puts on the old woman's nightcap and nightgown and waits for Little Red."

"Kinky." There's now a hand on his thigh. Wolfwood ignores that too. For now.

"After waiting almost a whole month," Vash groans. "The Wolf finally hears a knock on the door." Wolfwood waits.

And waits. Feels the hand move slowly upward. And still Wolfwood waits…pantomimes knocking…can't believe anyone can be this thick."Say it!" Vash looks at him, curious, both eyes raised in inquiry. "Oh for crying out loud! Say knock knock."

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Vash the Stam--- Ouch! What did you do that for?" Vash rubs the back of his head.

"Pay attention, bozo. The story's about Little Red, not Vash the Stampede."

"Fine." Vash pitches his voice high, "It's Little Red, little old grandmother who lives down the lane." Smiles innocently, and Wolfwood is half-tempted to smack him again.

"Ouch!" Wolfwood smirks, he never could resist temptation.

"The Wolf replies, 'Lift the latch, my dear.' Little Red comes in and finds the Wolf disguised as a little old grandmother alone in the bed. Placing the empty donut box on the table, Little Red moves closer. And the Wolf says, 'Oh how cold and tired you must be after your long journey, my dear, take off you clothes and get under the covers.' The Wolf pulls back the quilt and Little Red quickly strips and climbs in."

"Well, now I know how you got this house…" A tug on his ankle and Wolfwood feels himself slide down into the bed. Vash prowls up over him. Straddles him. Wolfwood grabs Vash's hips, grinds hard cock against hard cock, almost forgets the rest of the story. And whatever the plan was.

"What's next?" Vash is more coherent that he should be, damn it. Wolfwood takes a deep breath, can almost taste the scent of heat and sweat and something green that he only smells when he's with Vash and –Chapel naked, Chapel in drag, Chapel with a gun to Vash's head…

"Little Red climbs over the Wolf disguised as Grandmother, sliding strong hard limbs against an equally long hard body. Little Red says, 'Grandmother, what a big strong body you have!' 'All the better to keep you warm with, my dear' answers the Wolf, who pulls Little Red tight.'" Wolfwood pulls Vash down on top of him, pressing them together from groin to shoulders.

"'Grandmother, what big hands you have!' Little Red exclaims. 'All the better to touch you with, my dear,' replies the Wolf." Wolfwood's hands move down Vash's back, grinding upwards. Vash groans and shudders, Wolfwood bites his lip and tries not to smile.

"'Grandmother, what a lovely mouth you have!' 'All the better to kiss you with, my dear' says the Wolf." Vash's mouth is on his virtually before he finishes. It wet and hot and a little sweet, something Wolfwood can never get enough of. He drags Vash's mouth away from his, bites the underside of Vash's chin.

"Grandmother, what big teeth you have." It's barely a whisper, and Wolfwood didn't realize that Vash knew this particular fairytale, so well. 

"All the better to eat you with, my dear..." which Wolfwood proceeds to show him.

Vash is asleep. Wolfwood leans over the edge of the bed and searches around on the floor until he finds the lost cigarette, lights it, takes a long drag, then lies back with a smile.

Nothing feels as good as when a plan comes together.

Rolls over and whispers in Vash's ear, "And the moral to the story is: it's dangerous to stop what you're doing to listen to a wolf."

Pulls Vash close, "Welcome back, Vash the Stampede."

Grins. Besides, it wasn't his turn.


End file.
